— What’s interesting about the latest Fiat ad isn’t that it ties in with the upcoming Godzilla movie by showing the famed nuclear-infused monster popping Fiats like your author plowing through Fruit Gushers, eventually choking on a 500L. (“The Fiat 500L: It leaves a bad taste in your mouth!” reads a rejected tagline in a creative director’s trash can somewhere.) It’s that the disclaimer on the bottom reads: “Didn’t actually happen.” You sure about that, FCA lawyers? What if Godzilla did happen, and the only way we knew it was through a slick Fiat marketing tie-in? (“The Fiat 500L: now a choking hazard!” Somebody’s gonna have to take out the trash.)

“Fiat: Once you pop, you can’t stop!” Hey, you might want to run that one by your legal team first.

— When Nissan moved from Gardena, Calif., to Tennessee, it lost 60 percent of its workforce. Naturally, Toyota is concerned about losing its valuable staff. But the panic over Nissan’s staff was for naught. Nissan might have lost 12 executives and, in some cases, nearly entire departments, but after some reshuffling and some well-worded Craigslist postings (OK, Monster), Nissan’s ranks are as full as ever. Toyota will likely face the same challenge in drawing from Texas’s talent pool.

— Great news for Kansas Citians, or however you say that: On Friday, May 9, nearby Olathe, Kan., will open up a brand new car museum with 30 cars and motorcycles spread across 12,000 square feet. The museum will feature local notables such as Masten Gregory, the “Kansas City Flash” who won the 1965 Le Mans, in addition to items from the Ford Winchester Avenue Plant. Plans for an expansion are already underway, but for now, Kansas Citizens will enjoy a fancy new place to look at fancy old cars.

— The other day on Twitter, a “friend” asked, of a Citroën SM: “what is this? SO UGLY!” Needless to say, he’s a former friend–clearly anyone who dares denigrate the Citroën SM does not deserve virtual Internet friendship. Fortunately, Classic Driver is my new best friend. How about a Chapron SM décapotable in Byzantine gold? If you still think that’s ugly, well, we can’t talk anymore.

— This is why Lamborghini Aventador owners can’t have nice things. You’d think a valet in Monaco, of all places, would be used to handling hi-po exotica. And before you get smug, remember: First World Problems are still problems.