In 2018, Americans spent over $39 billion while shopping online, drunk. The year before that? About $30 billion. So chances are, we won’t be alone when later this evening when, after a few glasses of whiskey, we indulge in the following Prime Day deals.

Bagel Slicer

Unitaskers are generally maligned by experienced chefs and home cooks, but we’re rebels. Rebels who care about kitchen safety.

Playstation 1

Look, some people didn’t grow up with consoles in their house. Some people only got to play when they were at a friend’s house. But some people’s friends always beat them at Gran Turismo 2 because they got to practice all the time and it wasn’t ever actually that fun because he just rubbed it in which wasn’t fair at all not even a little bit. But some people have a job now and can do whatever they want with their $20.

Landworks Utility Cart Hand Truck

1000LB hauling capacity.

1000LB hauling capacity.

1000LB hauling capacity.

Remote Control Motorcycle

It’s a motorcycle, but better. You don’t have to register it with the DMV, you don’t have to find winter storage, and it probably won’t get stolen so long as you keep it away from your nephew.

60 Ounce Jar of Now & Later Candy

Buy now, regret later.

HairAnew Healthy Hair Formula

It probably works, right?

MTech USA Xtreme

We’re still all pretending that we’re afraid of zombies, right? That still a thing?

The Wrong Jean Shorts

smh

36-Pack of Cheeze-Its

Marked down $.44 is as good a reason as any.

Battle Ropes

Today isn’t the day we turn our lives around and get in shape. But tomorrow will be. Or the day after…or whenever this thing actually ships by.

New Mexico Cutting Board

The downside is that it isn’t shaped evenly and is hard to store. The upside is that it reminds you of Breaking Bad whenever you use it, which probably isn’t a bad thing.

60 Rubbermaid Food Containers

Oh. 60?

Monk: The Complete Series

Tony Shalhoub is a goddamn gem.

Chefman Mini Portable Fridge

Is this an irresponsible way to spend money and use energy? Without a doubt. Is it cute? Yes. Tough call no matter how you cut it.

Melodica

There are worse ways to spend money.

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